I haven’t posted often in the past four months, it’s not that nothing has happened, that’s for sure, just nothing I want to talk about here. I try to make this site positive, focusing on the things that “keep me from sinking,” so I try not to dwell on negative things or complain too much, but sometimes it seems like that’s all there is and that’s when my posting slacks off.

I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things and pray that an upswing will evolve.

Two weeks ago, I had to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy, not something you ever want to do, especially a week before moving 7 hours away from your family for college. The doctor tells me I have Crohn’s disease. I knew they were going to find something wrong, because I’ve known something was wrong for a while, but it’s still very depressing to know that this is something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life and that pretty much right off the bat I’m on my own to deal with it because of leaving for school. It also makes this time of transition even more of one.

The meds I’m taking have the scariest possible side effects of anything I’ve ever taken. Thankfully, I’ve had no real problems so far and taking four horse pills with lunch and supper does get easier. Though figuring out the logistics for me, food, and meds to be in the same place at the same time can get difficult. They do seem to be helping though, so who knows, I could get lucky be blessed and be in remission for years.

My mom doesn’t want me to take my bedroom furniture, which at first I was upset about (even though I didn’t say anything), I mean it’s my furniture. Now that I think about it though, it’s best to leave my nice furniture here and not have to take the risk of it getting messed up. It’s the furniture that I want to have when I make a more permanent move, so I’ll get some other furniture to go with me over the next 2 years.

The 2 years is another thing that gets to me. 2 more years of school, I just feel old, and I feel like most people that for a 4 year degree are done by my age. It’s just another one of those things where 10 years ago I thought I would be at a completely different stage of life now. I think back just 3 years ago and remember telling a co-worker how I really just wanted to be a housewife and a mom. I still wouldn’t turn that life down, but I would do it with some freelance writing work on the side; I couldn’t give up writing.

They actually did have a Minolta SLR, but it wasn’t the model I wanted the most and they were asking way too much for it. They also had a Canon SLR, an AE-1, but they wanted $174 for it! Later my mom says, “You know your dad has an old camera like that, a Canon, I think it’s in my bedroom.” Um, okay.

She gets it out and yeah, it’s an AE-1. I actually remember playing with it when I was little, come to think of it. I’ve been interested in photography for as long as I can remember, I even read books on photography in elementary school (I still am quite strange, thank you).

The best thing though it that the camera still had an old roll of film in it, which I’m going to pick up now.

This describes my feelings right now:

A bit torn on Ron Paul. After doing a little more self-educating on the candidates I’m now on the line between Paul and Huckabee. If you’d like to try to sway me in either direction, feel free to voice your opinions in the comments.

I went to the local Republican forum today. I had never been to one before but it was pretty much how I expected it to be. Romney’s table had cookies and brownies. McCain didn’t have a table at all, just 3 or 4 people standing behind signs. Paul had a bunch of hippies and face painting. Huckabee’s table was perhaps, no, make that exactly, how a campaign would be presented in a Hollywood movie, complete with small children running around with his bumper stickers on their clothes. Giuliani and Thompson both had a very subtle presence.

The hippies scared me away from Paul’s table and in the end I left with about 10 Huckabee bumper stickers and we currently have a Huckabee sign in our yard.

My mom and cousin.

Tomorrow I will be leaving for Ocala to go to Holiday Youth Convention. I made a sort-of last minute decision to go; I’m getting to old for it and I figured if I didn’t go this year, I would definitely feel too old to go next year—not that there won’t be other older than I there, there definitely will be.
I’m bringing my laptop along in hopes that there will be free wireless in the hotel, but with the expectation that I won’t have much time to use it anyway.

Good news about my mom’s cousin who had the heart attack too. They took him off of the ventilator today and he’s breathing on his own.

Praise God!