OhBuoyancy!

The times when I’ve had the most to post on the various blogs I’ve had are times when nothing else required much mental energy. Right now school requires most of my mental energy and a lot of my time. Lately I feel like people I know who aren’t in school don’t understand this. Yes, you work, and yes, that’s very important, but your work doesn’t have homework and papers to write. Unless you own your own business or have a very stressful job, you can hopefully relax and let go once you’re off for the day. School doesn’t work like that. It’s not a big deal, but I wish people were more understanding.

However, I’m very excited about going to see mewithoutYou tonight, hence the title.

I love God. I like church, at least half the things about it, that is. I like learning about God and understanding things in a different way. It can be helpful, uplifting, and make me face issues I need to deal with. I guess what I’m really saying is that I like the preaching and teaching part of church.

I don’t like the politics of church. I don’t like most of the fellowship (read: people getting together to gossip and be overly dramatic about everything while being highly critical of those outside their circle). I don’t like the judgment and stereotyping: how the inside is high and mighty, their wrongs are okay (sure when they realize they’re wrong they can ask and be forgiven, but so can anyone who is sincere) while everything outside is basically evil. Yes, the “outside” stereotypes the inside as well, but is the inside doing anything to break that trend and mold? From my perspective, (”on the fringes” maybe) the inside strengthens that negative stereotype in 85% of their interactions with the “outside.”

This is only part of it, but I believe that too often the people of the church forget that they’re in the world, there’s other people out there and they matter to God just as much as you do. They matter even more, remember the parable of the lost sheep?

Luke 15:4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?5And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

But instead of creating community with others, people of the church create an insiders clique.
Jesus made friends with sinners, people who were not part of the church circle.

Mark 2:13And he went forth again by the sea side; and all the multitude resorted unto him, and he taught them. 14And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him. 15And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.

For me, while I’m “in the church,” I’m also in the world, which isn’t all bad, after all it’s the world that God created for me to be in for a time and I have a purpose here. I am not of the world, but I’m also not of the church, I’m trying my best to be of God.

For now, I think watching church on TV may be my best choice.

What would you do if you saw someone you knew on match.com? An ex? Someone you went to school with?

One night Amy and I were browsing match for just these types and find them. Amy finds an ex and I find this guy I went to school with.
During my first stint at GCCC there was a guy in my radio classes, JP we’ll call him, ’cause that’s his name. JP liked attention I guess, he talked with a fake Australian accent, we all knew it was face, yet he still went on insisting it was real. Occasionally, when he would slip up and not accentuate words enough, or at all, and someone would call him on it, he would just say he’d been in the states so long that the accent comes and goes. Then we would talk about him behind his back, good times. Don’t get me wrong though, other than this weird reach for attention, he could be a really nice guy when you spoke with him one-on-one.

Maybe a couple weeks later after finding him on match.com, Amy and I are on a quest for pizza and stop at Gumby’s, which seemed to be the only pizza place open after 10 on a Friday night, weird. We go in and I immediately recognized the guy behind the counter and he clearly recognizes me because he begins to speak in a well out-of-practice fake Australian accent. Gumby’s just has a tiny lobby—it’s not a dine-in restaurant, so we’re cornered. I don’t let on that I know him and don’t have an opportunity to say to Amy, “this is that guy.” So he slips up on a word and Amy calls him out, he shrugs it off. I’m having such a hard time trying not to laugh. When I get the chance, I text Amy and it’s good I did because she thought he looked familiar and almost asked him how she knew him.

So we leave and we’re both cracking up as we walk back to the car. Of course, we’re talking about him and there he is standing behind the building talking to a coworker. I don’t think he heard us and the laughter resumed with added hilarity once we were safely in the car.

Much bigger room with a full size bed.
Only one roommate.
My own bathroom with a tub, not just a tiny shower stall. I’ve never had a bathroom all to myself.
Ceiling fans.
We haven’t used the A/C or heat at all since I’ve been here.
Windows that open.
I’m on the top floor, which is also the second floor.
No elevators, I hate elevators.
My own secure wireless network (no special login for the internet so FON works).
Having more friends close by. Amy is less than 10 minutes away, that’s closer than when we both lived in Panama City.
Quiet.
A lot of walking – campus is huge, I need the exercise.
Parking is a beast – this is a pro because it’s my only complaint and if that’s so than I’m doing pretty good. Plus I think it’s getting better or maybe I was getting there too early.
I like being an English Lit major.
I had to choose a minor and had a hard time choosing but went with history. I’m currently taking 20th Century Russia and finding it very interesting.
Beautiful.
Winter exists!

After starting the process of going down on my medication (Prednisone) I’ve started to experience the side-effects over the past few weeks. I guess it’s more of how long I’ve been on it than how much I’m taking. Least fun: moodiness (more than usual that is). Though it may sound vain the side-effect that bothers me the most is the puffy “chipmunk” cheeks Prednisone is known for. Other people might not even notice it, but I do and it makes me really self-conscious and definitely doesn’t help with the depression. It fluctuates too it seems, one day my checks can be really puffy and the next it’s not that bad. I’m also having a hard time focusing and getting my work done among other things.

In other news:
Today’s my birthday, I don’t like birthdays. If you like me you won’t tell me happy birthday. No one here knows it’s my birthday, I’m glad. I made myself brownies. Jeremy is supposed to take me out tomorrow, maybe that will cheer me up.
Most unstructured paragraph ever.

I hate it here. Not the city, not the school so much (though it is quite unorganized), I hate living in the dorms. I having a hard time finding a job though, so getting my own apartment isn’t an option. I’m vaguely considering transferring next semester, where to though? UCF? I definitely won’t be staying in the dorms, I can’t take it.