I love God. I like church, at least half the things about it, that is. I like learning about God and understanding things in a different way. It can be helpful, uplifting, and make me face issues I need to deal with. I guess what I’m really saying is that I like the preaching and teaching part of church.

I don’t like the politics of church. I don’t like most of the fellowship (read: people getting together to gossip and be overly dramatic about everything while being highly critical of those outside their circle). I don’t like the judgment and stereotyping: how the inside is high and mighty, their wrongs are okay (sure when they realize they’re wrong they can ask and be forgiven, but so can anyone who is sincere) while everything outside is basically evil. Yes, the “outside” stereotypes the inside as well, but is the inside doing anything to break that trend and mold? From my perspective, (“on the fringes” maybe) the inside strengthens that negative stereotype in 85% of their interactions with the “outside.”

This is only part of it, but I believe that too often the people of the church forget that they’re in the world, there’s other people out there and they matter to God just as much as you do. They matter even more, remember the parable of the lost sheep?

Luke 15:4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?5And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

But instead of creating community with others, people of the church create an insiders clique.
Jesus made friends with sinners, people who were not part of the church circle.

Mark 2:13And he went forth again by the sea side; and all the multitude resorted unto him, and he taught them. 14And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him. 15And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.

For me, while I’m “in the church,” I’m also in the world, which isn’t all bad, after all it’s the world that God created for me to be in for a time and I have a purpose here. I am not of the world, but I’m also not of the church, I’m trying my best to be of God.

For now, I think watching church on TV may be my best choice.

Well, I haven’t been feeling well. It’s hard to explain but my legs hurt all the time and I have what the doctor called “tremors” in my arm. I went straight to the doctor after school Wednesday, my doctor sent me to a neurologist, the neurologist talked to my doctor and they wanted to admit me to the hospital for testing, but I said I didn’t want that. The compromise is outpatient tests, so I’ve had a lot of blood drawn, yesterday I had an EEG, and today I’m having an MRI, but I won’t know anything from them until Monday.
I don’t want to miss too much school, I’m hoping to be able to go back Monday for one class but Tuesday I have 4 classes and it’s just really hard to sit still for very long (not that standing or moving is much better).

In other news, I wasn’t expecting Romney to drop out and I’m surprised (maybe even glad) at how well Huckabee is doing now. Should I speculate on who should team up together? McCain and Romney? No, they are at each other’s throats and aside from that I still don’t think they would make a good combination. Huckabee and Romney? I could live with that; it could work. McCain and Huckabee? This is my favorite combination, I would love to see them run together. What about Giuliani? I would only be in favor of Giuliani as VP if it was with someone very conservative, like Huckabee, McCain and Giuliani would be too left of right for me.

If/Whenever we really get that $800 $600 President Bush is handing out, what will mine go toward?

…for John McCain!

Why not?